Some may find this post upsetting please know my intention is to bring awareness and not to upset anyone. Love you all.
When I started by blog my intentions were unclear in even my own mind. I knew I wanted to talk about make-up to distract myself from school life as well as all the anxieties that come with day to day life.However, I feel as though it is my responsibility to talk about things that are affecting me and members of my community also. Although not many people may read this, I think that it is important that as many people as possible in my community, across Ireland and the world, are talking about this topic. The amount of people we have lost in Cork alone due to suicide recently is startling. The expression ‘shakes me to my core’ could not sum up my feelings regarding this matter more perfectly, with each announcement of another life gone I can truly feel it inside my body, like an emptiness. In the last month or so, I cannot say that I know one person who has committed suicide personally, yet I still feel the emptiness with the loss of that persons existence.I do not know you but I miss you regardless. I am so deeply sorry to all families, friends, anyone who has lost someone and I accept that I cannot comprehend what you are feeling.
Most of the people who read my posts are friends from school and family members. Thank you so much for all your incredible support. I love you all and you are so important to me. I do not know what is going on inside someone else’s head nor do they know what is going on inside of mine, but all I can say is if you feel as though no one at all cares for you, they do. You are so incredibly important. You are loved.
I will be the first to admit that I am imperfect. I make faces on the daily, get cranky and say things to people around me that are not kind. But, through all of these things I still care about all the people around me and could not imagine my environment without them and perhaps I, along with others do not express that enough. For anyone who feels as though they have literally no one, you do. You really,really do. If you are reading this and I do not know you personally, I care about you because you bring me happiness. Every time I see someone has viewed one of my blog posts I honestly feel happier that someone else besides my mom has read my post. So if you feel worthless or sad, know that you have made me happier today and your existence alone has probably made the people around you happier too.If you are feeling down talk to someone you trust about it. I am not a doctor or a medical professional. I can only express my own feelings and I can say that when I am feeling sad and someone just listens to me I feel better. Although I do not know personally, I have heard that charities such as Pieta House or Childline can help.
I know myself how paralyzing guilt can be. At night I still think about tricks I played in senior infants and things I said to people in fifth class.I have come to accept that as I go through life I will say things that can be offensive to other people and people will say things to me, but I hope you will forgive me and I forgive you too. Guilt seems to be the one thing that always gets in my way and I have to learn to not let the small stuff stop me from living my life.I know saying sorry doesn’t take back things that have been said or done but still, if you feel sorry for an action I think it should be expressed because it could make the other person feel somewhat better. Perhaps if we forgive more we could be happier within ourselves.
I encourage everyone around me to talk more. Say ‘hello’ to your neighbors on your street. Talk to your classmates, your teachers, people in youth clubs, a friend, a family member, your dog, someone working in a supermarket. I feel like we need to start a communication and kindness epidemic and get it to spread like wildfire. Love will always conquer hate, always. Let’s get to work in making a friendlier Cork, a friendlier Ireland and a friendlier world and we need everyone to be a part of it. No matter what your age, race, gender or religious beliefs, we need everyone to join in spreading the happiness. It will not be the same if anyone is missing, anyone.
I always hear it being said ‘ I don’t know where to start’, start here,now. We can make the difference today. Although I believe mental heath classes in schools are something that need to be inforced , kindness and awareness is something we can start now. We as the people of Cork, Ireland and the world can be more open, kind and forgiving today. Please, I urge you as a young seventeen year old girl to spread positivity in your home and in your community.
Above all, always, always, always know that someone is there for you and you can achieve incredible things and the world is waiting to experience your greatness, please don’t deprive us all of your genius. You could cure cancer, you could fix climate change, you could make one person happy by being alive and you have made me happy today by reading this, know that.
It is not a weakness to show emotion, to seek help or to cry regardless of your gender. It is okay to feel sad if you are a boy just as much as if you were a girl same goes for men and women. Emotions are normal, please don’t ever feel ashamed for feeling sad or crying, this does not make you weak or unmanly ! And the same goes for women.
Please know that this post is not intended in an offensive or insulting way and if it was perceived as that, to anyone, it was not intentional. Please seek medical help if you feel down.
I love you all! Have a wonderful Christmas and a great beginning to 2017 if I don’t post before then. Be kind and take care of one another and we can all thrive together. Sending you all virtual hugs!